Episode 1
An Asian brothel opens in the immediate neighborhood and draws many of Svetlana's clients away. While Svetlana fights back, her gay friend Jared investigates Vlad to determine his true sexual orientation.
Episode 2
After Eddie frames Svetlana for Phil's murder, she faces "five to life" in prison—and has trouble readjusting to civilian life after she's paroled. (Note: This episode ends with a music video entitled "Hos Before Bros," featuring music by Keith Atkins and lyrics by Kyle Perzanoski.)
Episode 3
Vlad is abducted by government officials and waterboarded while Svetlana tries to get rid of a negligible amount of belly weight gain.
Episode 4
Svetlana pretends to be an all-American in order to become part of a documentary on American entrepreneurs.
Episode 5
Svetlana turns to a plastic surgeon after her previous breast augmentation suffers a rupture. Meanwhile, Vlad makes a disastrous attempt at male prostitution. (Note: This episode features Iris Bahr in a secondary role as Sandy, a snide receptionist.)
Episode 6
Liam's disapproving parents threaten to ruin her wedding to Marina, which Svetlana is busy trying to organize.
Episode 7
When Natasha expresses a desire to adopt a baby, Svetlana calls in a favor and arranges to have a Haitian infant delivered to the house. However, when Tomas arrives, he isn't exactly what Svetlana was anticipating.
Episode 8
While taking out the trash, Vlad meets a pretty neighbor, Phoebe (Wendi McLendon-Covey), and immediately dumps Svetlana for her.
Episode 9
Svetlana, in despair, marries Vivek, an Indian man, and is trying everything to become a good housewife. Meanwhile, Vlad finds it harder and harder to cope with his new girlfriend's nymphomaniacal tendencies.
Episode 10
Svetlana tries to prevent Vlad from pimping Natasha on the streets in the middle of the night—and ends up brainwashed by a religious cult.
Episode 11
When Marina and Liam announce their desire for a baby, Svetlana goes looking for a suitable sperm donor.
Episode 12
An exterminator contaminates the brothel with poison spray and the family goes on their first ever camping trip to get fresh air.
